Fear of People's Opinions and How to Achieve Focus with a Potato
Host: Marco Noe
It’s time to get comfy with the uncomfy. So put on your watermelon pants, we’re going to stretch our courage muscles.
In this week's episode, we discuss how we can stop making decisions based on what others think of us. Later in the episode, we do an exercise in focus and consider if there are practices around achieving more clarity in your life.
This round is on Marco Noe with the support of Justin Bourn, Michael Duncan, Travis Hayto, Jacob Moffit, and Conrad “Swaggy C” Francis. The Simple Minds Podcast unravels topics such as personal development, philosophy, life and business - one drink at a time.
- How to not care about what others think of you [5:30]
- How to be more focused [44:00]
You’ve got a bad case of FOPO [5:30]
Justin is recently back from a trip to Singapore to see the one and only Gary Vee. But let’s be honest. It’s all the same shit. But for some people, it’s still not clicking.
Presently, Gary is putting emphasis on why we give a shit about what others think. It’s holding us back, so why do we let it influence our lives so much? It’s something that Justin struggles with and has actively trying to improve. On his trip Justin picked up a book called Courage to be Disliked.
The statement that struck Justin was that -
“Every situation we face and everything we go through in life is an interrelationship problem. Everything we face as an individual is because of the relationship between others.”
Justin floats the question to the group: Do you agree with the statement that everything we do is motivated by what others think of us or as an interrelationship problem?
Michael believes it goes back to philosophy teachings from Plato and Socrates that everyone has a true self inside of them. But it's the relationships around us that smother and alter our true self. You need to be able to filter through the noise and listen to your deeper desires.
“If you stripped it back to just you, is it a problem or situation?” - Justin [14:00]
Jacob says the lack of courage to have uncomfortable conversations, has stopped the people in his life from growing as well as his business from developing. He let the feeling of a short-term comfort stop him from doing the courageous thing.
So how do you have the uncomfortable conversation? How do you address it?
- Look at the bigger picture
- Ask yourself: is your short-term comfort a selfish act?
- Remind yourself that you think it’s going to worse than it actually is
- Courage is a muscle - keep stretching it
As humans, we love the comfort and to justify our actions with reasons why we can’t move forward. We love to satisfy excuses. It’s comfortable. It provides a safety net. But it won’t provide growth.
“You can’t aim for respect, you can’t aim to be liked. You need to aim to deliver. Through delivery, you have a chance to be respected.” - Conrad [21:00]
With the emergence of social media, our sense of clarity has been clouded. All we see is noise and the fantastical lives of others. It confuses our purpose. But social media has only amplified this feeling. We just need to be smarter.
So how can you remove FOPO (fear of people’s opinions) from your life? Start with these question:
- Why do you feel this way?
- What are you using to justify this?
- Why aren’t you taking the courage to move forward with the goals you want to achieve?
Don’t be discouraged. It’s a journey for everyone. Courage is a muscle, and to stretch it you need to get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
“I’m going to name my next dog FOPO” - Conrad [29:00]
Alright, moving on.
Sticking it to the (potato) man [44:00]
Swaggy C is up next with content, and he’s got us talking about Focus.
“One reason so very few of us achieve what we really want, is that we never direct our focus, we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life never deciding to master anything in particular” - Tony Robbins
Conrad’s friend just came out of brain surgery and as a result, she’s got more energy than ever. She’s found focus. When you’re faced with mortality suddenly your only focus is to survive. Everything else becomes irrelevant.
So as entrepreneurs, how do we find that energy and focus and maintain it?
Conrad says that people always ask him how he finds his energy to keep pushing. It’s because he’s focussed on his why and what he’s trying to achieve. When you have a clear goal, your path becomes more defined. You know what you need to do.
In the book Magician’s Way the main character learns how to achieve focus by putting a straw through a potato.
So obviously Conrad gave the Simple Minds gang a bunch of potatoes and straws to test who does and doesn’t have their shit together.
See the video on our Facebook page.
The idea of the challenge is to cut through the noise and let your inner voice take charge. If you keep doing the same thing you’re going to have the same result.
So pay attention to your thoughts and that’ll give you the indication of how committed and convicted you are to wherever it is you’re trying to go and achieve.
Subscribe to the Simple Minds podcast for more potato inspired wisdom.
Is there a way you achieve focus in your life? We want to hear all your tips and tricks.
Mentioned in This Episode