Giving Everything We Have and What We’ve Learnt from Our Fathers
Host: Michael Duncan
Drink: Forester Chardonnay (Margaret River) 2017
Special Guest: Jose Noe (Marco’s Dad)
Stop focusing on the score. It’s all about the journey.
In this week's episode, we discuss how we measure ourselves to stay accountable. Later in the episode, we share what we’ve learned from our fathers and what we want our children to learn from us.
This round is on Michael Duncan with the support of Matt Hanham, Justin Bourn, Marco Noe, Travis Hayto, Conrad “Swaggy C” Francis. The Simple Minds Podcast unravels topics such as personal development, philosophy, life, and business - one drink at a time.
- How are you measuring yourself [2:50]
- What have you learned from your father / What do your children to learn from you [35:30]
Measuring ourselves [2:50]
What is this fixation we have on the destination? It overwhelms and disrupts productivity and efficiency. We forget about the journey, and that’s the most important part.
This week Marco is up with content and he presents a quote to the group -
“Stop focusing on the score of the game and focus on one thing you can control. How much you give every moment on the court. There are going to be days that you win and where you lose, but those will be based on the measure of yourself. If every single moment on the court you've engaged on level 10 or above and you gave every ounce of yourself every minute if doesn’t matter the score. You won because you became more, gave more and in life we don’t get to keep anything except for what we give because that's what makes us become something different.”
Marco asks the group how they measure themselves and stay on track with their goals. For example: if he’s exercising more than he’s learning about videography and editing then his life is out of whack.
No surprise here. Conrad attempts to track every aspect of his life. It allows him to assess and reflect on where he can improve to increase his efficiency. To measure success you need to be able to measure it.
Travis takes a slightly different approach to life. He prefers not to track anything. He goes on instinct, feel and energy. With one simple question he’s able to achieve clarity in his life again:
“If I was to die tomorrow, will I be happy with my decisions today?” - Travis [10:00]
This question doesn’t show up in his daily practice. But rather when he needs to gain some perspective. It’s not about the destination. If you show up and give it your all then that’s all that matters.
It’s all about the outcomes you’re achieving. If you’re not happy with your performance, then you need to make some changes.
“You are your own harshest critic. If you’re lying to yourself then you already know” - Travis [13:20]
If you know your shit, and know what you have to do. Discipline can set you free. As long as you’re setting the right disciplines.
Think about it. Get back to us.
Passing on a legacy [35:30]
In 2007 Randy Pausch gave his last lecture. In his presentation, he spoke about really achieving your childhood dreams. His lecture went viral and went on to move and inspire millions of people to achieve their goals.
Conrad discusses the lecture and asks for those in the group with children - what would you of liked them to learn from your life?
Those without children in the group - what would you like to tell your fathers that you’ve learned from them?
Matt prefers to show his kids rather than tell them. There is power in action. He wants to convey that he shows up every day and tries the best that he can.
Matt teaches the following -
- Don’t follow the crowd
- Ask questions
- Reach your own conclusions
- Seek and follow your passions
Michael has two children and has always taught them to always do the right thing. To be kind.
Michael teaches the following -
- Learn as much as you can
- Enjoy life
Travis’s appreciation for his father has grown more and more over the years. Growing up you never realise how much your parents do for you.
Travis’s father taught him -
- Eternal love
Justin grew up not being well off. His father was never around a lot because he was working. But through action, Justin always knew there was a lot of love there.
Justin’s father taught him -
- Persistence - always do the work
- Drive and ambition
- There is always an opportunity waiting for you
- There is always a solution
- The belief you can do anything you want to do
Marco has recently resigned from his engineering job to pursue videography. Never once did his father make him feel bad for pursuing his passion.
Marco’s father taught him -
- Unconditional love
From his father, Conrad learned to be honest and value humility. His biggest regret is not being honest with his father before he passed.
“I never got to speak to my dad...I speak to him every day...but I never got to speak to him” - Conrad [1:07:24]
You’ll never understand the sacrifices your parents have made, the love they feel for you if you’re not communicating with them. Don’t put it off. Have a real conversation. Share your life and learn as much as you can, until you can’t anymore.
Subscribe to the Simple Minds podcast to follow our journey of self improvement.
This week we encourage you to have a real conversation with your loved ones. Don’t wait. Please share your story with the Simple Minds podcast, we’d love to hear it.
Mentioned in This Episode