Ego, MUSTerbation and Irish Cream
Host: Travis Hayto
Ego is calling again and WE NEED to put it to rest.
In this week's episode we discuss how to identify and control the ego. Later in the episode we’re talking musterbation and how to be vulnerable.
This round is on Travis Hayto with the support of Matt Hanham, Justin Bourn, Michael Duncan, Conrad “Swaggy C” Francis. The Simple Minds Podcast unravels topics such as personal development, philosophy, life and business - one drink at a time.
- What is ego? [7:45]
- How to control ego [23:00]
- Musterbation [41:50]
Is ego positive? - [7:45]
Justin is up first with content this week. We’re talking about ego. Again.
As a business owner things you think you know often escape us. We know the things we know but it’s not at the forefront of our minds. Distractions are killer.
Or maybe you feel that you don’t need to be reminded. You’ve got your shoes off. You’ve unpacked your bags. Packing up takes a little too much time now. Time you don’t have anymore.
Uh oh, look who has to get up now.
No point hiding from it. You’re going to dig yourself a deeper hole.
Justin shares that every now and then he likes to give himself a crash course refresher. It gives perspective. Puts you back on track. Reminds you that you can never arrive at a destination knowing everything.
But maybe ego can be a good thing. Or do we like to tell ourselves that?
Justin poses a question to the group.
“Sometimes there can be a lot of negative connotation with ego. But is there a positive connotation to it?” - [10:20]
Ego is an unhealthy belief in your own importance. It undermines us on the very journey we’ve put into pursuing.
But you can neutralise it.
“Ego is nothing other than the focus of conscious of attention” - [23:00]
- Michael quoting Alan Watts
Knowing ego is there is the first step. By becoming self-aware it creates a positive and gives you the context of the alternative. What could happen if you don’t remove your ego from the situation?
Question what is anchoring you from doing the thing you’ve been talking about.
The pink elephant in the room - [23:00]
After a death con debate over the definition of ego we’ve finally settled on two things.
Ego needs to be directed. Not managed. When you’re aware of the pink elephant in the room then you can with the pink elephant in the room. But you can’t eliminate it.
“Be aware when [ego] is playing out. Cuddle it. Take it for a walk. It’s still not serving you. - [33:00]
Justin shares that recently he’s dealing with the repercussions of not dealing with something 9 months ago. He was aware of the issue but felt comfortable putting it off.
Knowing what he knows now. Justin shares advice he’d tell himself 9 months ago.
- Ask more questions - he assumed he knew the answers to everything already
- Ask yourself why you’re holding back - is your ego anchoring you?
- Always be a student
You can never eliminate ego. But you can tame it by acknowledging it.
Hit it with a dose of humility and watch it shrink.
Always must and should and ought with you - [41:50]
Take a second. Reread it.
Up next with content is Conrad and he’s got the group stunned. But it’s not what you think.
MUSTerbation comes from The Three Major Musts concept coined by Albert Ellis. The idea is that we all express ourselves differently.
I must do this
I should do this
I ought to do that
However it’s the irrational beliefs we impose on ourselves. We must do something. It’s a demand. And we judge people who aren’t on the same page.
Conrad has recently been reflecting on who he is and how he reacts to certain situations. He feels that he constantly needs to control his environment. Which in retrospect makes him question why he needs it to be that way.
It’s a demanding way of thinking. I must do this.
Conrad questions why we have to put everything in a box? How are we supposed to live life to the fullest if we don’t live the way we want to?
“As humans, we desire a system” - [49:00]
“To quote Conrad last week. None of it fucking matters” - [49:00]
Justin poses that the “nothing matters” mentality is depressing. We desire to make an imprint on the earth. To know that our existence has meant something.
Michael asks Conrad is he’s changed his behaviour the past week [51:00].
“The path of vulnerability” - [51:56]
Conrad finds it difficult to accept and allow people to come to their own conclusions without posing his opinion. No one needs to know what box you’re putting them into.
We have no right to judge someone for living their set of rules. Rather, give people the opportunity to come to the same page as you.
How do you achieve this?
Communication. Communication enables conversation. It provides the opportunity for someone to get on the same page. And if they don’t? Then they don’t. Communication facilitates that too.
As long as you’re continually asking questions, you’re looking to grow. That should be your focus.
Thennnnn there was some weird ant talk about if they have feelings or not. But that’s enough.
That’s the episode. Lose your expectations and fight that ego. You’ll be right.
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How do you define ego? What part does it play in your life? Let us (mainly Conrad) know your definition.
Mentioned in This Episode